神回復

神回復

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問:結婚以後,兩個人在一起最重要的是什麼?

神回復:就當這婚還沒結。

 

問:你是如何走出人生的陰霾的?

神回復:多走幾步。

 

問:前半生與後半生的分界線是在哪裡?

神回復:此時此刻。

 

問:矮是什麼感覺?

神回復:所有人見了我都抬不起頭。

 

問:為什麼新聞放完了總是要播出他們在收拾稿子的片段?

神回復:為了告訴你,我們吹牛是打了草稿的!

 

問:同樣是別人比自己強,為什麼有時會產生嫉妒心理,而有時會產生崇拜?

神回復:遠的崇拜,近的嫉妒;夠不著的崇拜,夠得著的嫉妒;有利益衝突的嫉妒,沒利益衝突的崇拜。

 

問:中國哪裡的姑娘最漂亮?

神回復:朋友圈裡的姑娘最漂亮。

 

問:什麼叫見過大世面?

神回復:能享受最好的,能承受最壞的。

 

問:情商不高的例子有哪些?

神回復:對陌生人畢恭畢敬,對親近的人隨意發怒。

 

問:為什麼人總會對失去的東西念念不忘?

神回復:人們並不是害怕失去,而是害怕失去以後沒有更好的可以代替。

 

問:怎樣控制住自己不發脾氣?

神回復:如果你是對的,你沒必要發脾氣;如果你是錯的,你沒資格發脾氣。

 

問:太在乎自己在別人眼中的形象,導致活得很累,怎麼辦?

神回復:沒有那麼多人關注你,所以,放輕鬆點,你沒有那麼多觀眾。

 

問:2000塊錢想出國窮遊可以去哪個國家?

神回復:秦國、魯國、齊國、蜀國、韓國、鄭國、魏國、楚國、趙國、燕國、吳國等等。

 

問:“別讓孩子輸在起跑線上”有道理嗎?

神回復:一輩子都要和別人去比較,是人生悲劇的源頭。

 

問:你會給自己寫什麼墓誌銘?

神回復:沒什麼事我就先掛了。

 

問:你離死亡最近的一次經歷是什麼?

神回復:還沒出生之前差點給後面那精子追上了。

 

問:孩子問“為什麼我做錯事大人可以打我,大人錯了我不能打他們”應該怎麼回答?

神回復:因為打不過,等你打得過了,大人就會跟你開始講道理了。

 

問:吃什麼最補腦?

神回復:吃虧。

 

問:你怎麼一個人出來逛街?

神回復:半個人我怕嚇著你啊!

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