什麼是「幸福」?
惟雯說故事
「愛」是什麼?
所謂的「家人」是什麼?
所謂的「幸福」又是什麼?
這位七年級生名叫大師兄,是殯儀館的冰庫管理員。
他說:「愈接近死亡的人,愈能感受生命的意義,看多了,財富真的不重要了!」
一般遺體送至殯儀館,一律經由他們確認、入庫。若是遇上找不到家屬、沒有葬儀社願意接手的案子,例如自殺、意外、街友、孤獨老人等,他們也會親自前往現場接回遺體。
2018年12月,這位大師兄出版《你好,我是接體員》一書,以幽默筆調記錄殯儀館工作現場的百態。例如「吊死叫盪鞦韆、跳樓是小飛俠、腐屍是綠巨人、燒炭是小黑。太胖的人燒遺體時會發爐,舍利子其實是結石……」
在這些與死亡交手的人眼中,每一個冰櫃就是一個故事。
這些名稱看似可怕,其實最令人寒心的往往是人情。
家人不是有血緣的人,而是你走了後會惦記你的人
俄國文豪托爾斯泰曾說,「幸福的家庭都是相似的,不幸的家庭則各有各的不幸。」在殯儀館,這句話總能得到驗證。
所有家族內部的愛恨情仇,往往會隨死亡浮上檯面。
大師兄說,每次聯合公祭後,總有許多家屬因為遺產分配不均、和死者的紛爭未了等因素,藉故不領取骨灰。無主的骨灰年復一年累積,最後只能倒在公墓旁的土地,或直接當垃圾處理。
在意外、自殺現場看過不少駭人的屍體,但師兄認為,最可怕的並非屍體本身,而是漠不關心的家屬。
「常有人說不結婚生子,老了會很慘,死了都沒人幫忙收屍。我其實很想告訴他們,殯儀館有一堆子孫滿堂、沒人要領的骨灰。」
在殯儀館,他看過許多光怪陸離的故事:
有子女隨意把父母的骨灰裝進乖乖桶,或者乾脆倒掉。
還有一個車禍過世的死者。除了一個受刑人兒子外,沒有其他家屬探望。兒子看著父親因意外而扭曲的臉孔,只說了一句話:「我就是來看你怎麼死的,真的不得好死。」父子一場,最後只剩下恨與怨懟。師兄感嘆地說:「這也是血緣啊。」
所謂親情,有時無關血緣或法律。一對父母離異的兄弟,分隔多年後,哥哥自殺,警方聯繫弟弟前來認屍。但因兩人30多年未見,這位前來認屍的男子,一時也無法確認眼前的大體身分。看著遺體,他只說,「雖然我不知道你是不是哥哥,但我感受得到。你的喪事我一肩扛起,希望你能好走。」相信了,就是家人。
上億身家,也不一定能買到幸福的人生,看過形形色色的死者,也讓人對財富有新的思考。「每次去豪宅接大體,不是生病走的,就是吸毒死的。」師兄說起最近經手的一個案子,死者在豪宅裡吸毒致死,屍水滲出,幾乎弄壞了整片高級木質地板。儘管家人俱在,卻無人願意出面處理,只剩下房東欲哭無淚。
另一個案例,則是大師兄看見財富如何引出人性的黑暗面。曾有死者的女兒和弟弟因遺產問題在告別式上爭吵,雙方一言不合,女兒一腳飛踢了自己的叔叔。「那場面超帥的。」師兄笑說。是黑色幽默,也是家族的悲劇。
他也見過有家屬想把貴重首飾燒給死者,卻一轉身就被不肖的喪葬業者取走。
甚至有化妝師會事前準備假戒指,替換遺體手上的真戒指。子女的孝心,最後全進了陌生人的口袋。
其實,財富生不帶來,死帶不走。遺體火化過後,工作人員常會在火化爐當中找到一些沒燒盡的黃金或有價寶石。在殯儀館,這些東西被稱為「民俗小費」。撿到工作人員會將之換成現金,請大家吃頓飯後全數捐給社福單位。
有錢就能幸福嗎?想起殯儀館裡的大體,和醫院裡身家上億卻只能躺在床上的老人們,師兄不無感嘆地說:「我現在還可以走,就已經贏過他們了」。
親人過世最難面對的是「自責」 不如珍惜當下人生活在當下的道理,人人都懂,實際能做到的卻很少。 殯儀館裡,總是不乏後悔的人。大師兄舉例,曾有位從美國回來的兒子天天在冰庫前哭泣,對過世的爸爸說:「我真的好想你,我以前為什麼沒時間陪你……」
大師兄說,現在的他,對死亡已有豁達的體悟:「我希望我的人生就是盡情地玩,然後沒有後悔地走,最後用免費的聯合公祭送我就好。」他還笑說,如果自己得了癌症,一定會請朋友吃飯,要大家先將白包給他:「反正我走了就用不到了!」
所以,幸福到底是什麼?
這個困難的問題,答案或許意外地如師兄所言般簡單:「現在,我只要能吃飯就覺得很快樂,一早起床能呼吸就覺得很愉快!
……轉載分享
留言列表(51条)
What a fantastic article! We’re big fans of your blog here in Asheville and eagerly await your next post.
Your blog is like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day – uplifting and inspiring. Sending love from Asheville!
Your writing has a way of drawing readers in and keeping them engaged till the very end. Asheville appreciates your talent!
Your words have the power to uplift and inspire. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. Asheville loves your blog!
Thank you for sharing your expertise with the world through your blog. Asheville residents are grateful for your contributions.
Your writing has a way of drawing readers in and keeping them engaged till the very end. Asheville appreciates your talent!
Thank you for sharing your expertise with the world through your blog. Asheville residents are grateful for your contributions.
Your blog is like a good friend – reliable, comforting, and always there when you need it. Sending love from Asheville!
Your blog posts are always a highlight of my day. Asheville residents are lucky to have such a talented writer in our midst.
Your blog posts are always a joy to read! From Asheville with love, we appreciate your work.
Your writing is like a beacon of light in the darkness, guiding us towards knowledge and understanding. Asheville appreciates your blog!
Your blog is a true masterpiece, crafted with care and passion. We’re proud supporters from Asheville!
Your blog is like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day – uplifting and inspiring. Sending love from Asheville!
Your blog is a true masterpiece, crafted with care and passion. We’re proud supporters from Asheville!
Your posts always leave me feeling enlightened and inspired. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. Asheville sends its love!
Your blog is a true masterpiece, crafted with care and passion. Sending love from Asheville!
Your blog is like a good friend – reliable, comforting, and always there when you need it. Sending love from Asheville!
Thank you for being a constant source of inspiration through your blog. Asheville is proud to support you!
Your words have the power to uplift and inspire. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. Asheville loves your blog!
Thank you for being a beacon of knowledge and inspiration through your blog. Asheville appreciates you!
Thank you for consistently delivering valuable content. We’re proud followers from Asheville!
Your blog is a true masterpiece, crafted with care and passion. We’re proud supporters from Asheville!
Your blog is a treasure chest of wisdom and insight. We’re grateful to be readers from Asheville!
Your blog is a sanctuary of wisdom and inspiration. We’re grateful readers from Asheville!
Your Thoughtful Analysis Has Really Made Me Think. Thanks For The Great Read!
This Article Was A Joy To Read. Your Enthusiasm Is Contagious!
Your Post Was A Beacon Of Knowledge. Thank You For Illuminating This Subject.
I’m impressed by your ability to convey such nuanced ideas with clarity.
Thank you for consistently producing such high-quality content.
You’ve presented a complex topic in a clear and engaging way. Bravo!
Thank you for the hard work you put into this post. It’s much appreciated!
The authenticity and passion in your writing are evident.
Each blog post is a journey into knowledge and understanding.
Your blog stands out for its quality and depth of insight.
You have an exceptional ability to engage and inspire your audience.
You have a gift for making complex subjects easily digestible.
Your blog provides a unique blend of insights and practical advice.
You have an exceptional ability to engage and inspire your audience.
Your dedication to providing valuable content shines through every post.
The way you connect with your readers is exceptional.
Your blog stands out for its quality and depth of insight.
The variety and richness of your blog content is impressive.
Your dedication to providing valuable content shines through every post.
Your insights are always groundbreaking and enlightening.
You have an exceptional ability to engage and inspire your audience.
I learned something new today, thanks to your post!
You have a knack for highlighting lesser-known aspects of popular topics. It’s always enlightening.
You have a knack for highlighting lesser-known aspects of popular topics. It’s always enlightening.
I’m not sure why but this weblog is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.
I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thanks, I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your website?