The very crux of your writing while appearing agreeable in the beginning, did not settle perfectly with me after some time. Someplace within the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do well to help fill in those breaks. If you actually can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly be impressed.
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The very crux of your writing while appearing agreeable in the beginning, did not settle perfectly with me after some time. Someplace within the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do well to help fill in those breaks. If you actually can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly be impressed.