家書
大宅
尊敬的老婆：
您好！
在經過慎重研究，並做好在外風餐露宿3天的心理準備下，特向您提出申請。因為沒有寫過這類申請書，因此若有格式差錯之處，請您別見笑！
申請事項：娶二房
有效時間：直到你肯幫我分攤一些家務的時候
申請理由：
1．娶二房並不會導致交通癱瘓、金融危機、失業高潮；
2．娶二房會增加家庭對我的吸引力，發生婚外情的機率可以降低99%，不信您試試？
3．娶二房可以幫我分擔家務，目前情況是：一個人做兩個人的家務，如果娶了二房，就是兩個人做三個人的家務，平均每人分擔1.5的家務，而現在是2，當然您是不需要做家務的，畢竟您是大太太嘛。
4．娶了二房，供您使喚的就不止我一個了，你在使喚誰的時候有了選擇權，這也從客觀上增加了我等的競爭壓力，相信辦事效果一定比娶二房之前提高33.3%，這就從客觀上保證了您對生活的高要求，不信您試試？
5．娶了二房，您就可以不生小BB，您不是一直擔心生小BB的時候痛苦嗎？在您的恩賜下我娶了二房的時候，這些又苦又累又痛的差使就可以交給二房去做了，而您呢，既有小BB陪您玩，還不要您給他擦屁屁，多美好的四人世界啊！心動不如行動，快決定吧！
6．娶了二房，您就有了貼身丫環，不會再出現我們一起逛街你到處逛、我無精打采地跟從的現象了，最重要的是，你找了個綠葉，自己做了紅花。
7．娶了二房，您就多了一份自由，您不是很討厭我在您背後毛手毛腳的亂動麼？如果娶了二房，只要您想自由，我就睡到另一個房間去。
老婆，我不會那麼迂腐的搞個什麼八大理由、八大建議之類的八股文來證明什麼，現在就這麼七個理由。說實話，若我是您，我就同意。
哎！您還別反問一句「如果我嫁兩個老公，你願不願？」
我現在就回答您，如果您能提出類似這七個理由中的第三、四條來，我就同意。您能嗎？不能。所以，我不同意。
總之，娶二房，我好、你好、她也好！如果別人說三道四，別理他們！
此致 敬禮
申請人：您的老公
時間：今天
******************************************************
老婆的批覆—-
尊敬的老公：
您好！經過慎重研究，並做好在家做家務活 3天的心理準備下，特將您提出的申請進行回覆。因為沒有寫過這類回覆，因此若有格式差錯之處，您別見笑！
回覆事項：娶二房
有效時間：直到你不再提出要我分攤家務活為止
回復理由：
1．娶二房並不會導致交通癱瘓、金融危機、失業高潮
答覆：但有可能造成你半身癱瘓、家庭危機、失業在家
2．娶二房會增加家庭對我的吸引力，發生婚外情的機率可以降低99%，不信您試試？
答覆：這會造成你老婆的婚外情機率上升到99%，不信您試試！
3．娶二房可以幫我分擔家務，目前情況是：一個人做兩個人的家務，如果娶了二房，就是兩個人做三個人的家務，平均每人分擔1.5的家務，而現在是2，當然您是不需要做家務的，畢竟您是大太太嘛。
答覆：想要改變目前的情況，可以請一位保姆，這樣只要 1個人分擔100%的家務就可以了。還省下來你給二房的供養費及求婚鑽戒等…
4．娶了二房，供您使喚的就不止我一個了，你在使喚誰的時候有了選擇權，這也從客觀上增加了我等的競爭壓力，相信辦事效果一定比娶二房之前提高 33.3%，這就從客觀上保證了您對生活的高要求，不信您試試？
答覆：如果要聽使喚，我建議娶個男寵回家，第一不會跟您爭地位，第二100%聽我的話，這也客觀上降低你的競爭壓力，也100%保證了我對性生活的高要求。
5．娶了二房，您就可以不生小BB，您不是一直擔心生小BB的時候痛苦嗎？如果在三個代表重要思想的勾引下、在兩個務必精神的鼓動下、在您的恩賜下我娶了二房的時候，這些又苦又累又痛的差使就可以交給二房去做了，而您呢，既有小BB陪您玩，還不要您給他擦屁屁，多美好的四人世界啊！心動不如行動，快決定吧！
答覆：可以交給代理孕母給我們生出一男一女的龍鳳胎來，多美好的四人世界啊~
6．娶了二房，您就有了貼身丫環，不會再出現我們一起逛街，你到處逛、我無精打釆地跟從的現象了，最重要的是，你找了個綠葉，自己做了紅花。
答覆：紅花都有兩片綠葉襯的，兩個老公正合適~
7．娶了二房，您就多了一份自由，您不是有時候很討厭我在您背後毛手毛腳的亂動麼？如果娶了二房，只要您想自由，我就睡到另一個房間去。
答覆：我們家現在就只有一個房間~
總結：老公，我不會那麼迂腐的搞個什麼八大理由、八大建議之類的八股文來證明什麼，現在就這麼七個建議，說實話，如果你真不想做家務我還真同意。你可別再舉出家庭事務誰分擔的問題，這些家務事我找樓上王二麻子不行嗎？您願意嗎？
我知道你不願意，所以我不同意！
總之，娶二房的後果，你就等著瞧…
此致 敬禮
回覆人：您的老婆
時間：今天
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