百密一疏
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奇哥半夜在書房加班，老婆又來了。
鑑於前幾次深夜臥談，我的智商被屢次吊打，於是我開門見山：「夫妻一場，這些年，我沒有功勞也有苦勞，您有事直說。」
老婆微笑：「沒事就不能給你按按肩？」
她開始給奇哥按肩。
「我的手藝，跟水療會所的小妹比，哪個好？」
(這個坑太簡單，奇哥會跳？)
「不知道，我沒按過肩。」
「不按肩，那按哪裡？」
「奇哥說我沒去過那種地方。」
「那你打火機上的怎麼印著什麼什麼休閒會所？」她迅速把桌上的打火機捏在手裡問奇哥。
這個問題，奇哥防不勝防。
奇哥估計她早就看到了打火機，但她不直接問，而是從按肩開始切入話題。
溫水煮青蛙，察言觀色。
女人，可怕。
「打火機應該是劉明的，上次跟他吃飯順手拿他的。沒想到他是這種經常去會所的人。」
奇哥也算是老江湖，凡是說不清的問題，都把髒水潑在劉明身上。
老婆：「你跟劉明也算朋友吧？」
「當然！」
「劉明知道你這麼坑他嗎？」老婆伸出右手，亮出打火機，「這就是個普通火機，上面根本沒寫什麼休閒會所。怎麼變成劉明從會所拿的了？」
原來是詐我。
她根本就沒看到那個打火機。
「這個…..」奇哥一時反應不過來。
「你長進了，撒謊都不眨眼。」
「我也就隨口說了一種可能性。」
「那你也不能坑人家劉明。他真的經常去那種會所？我告訴他老婆去。」
「沒有，開玩笑的，他從來不去。」
「那就好，如果你身邊有去這種地方的朋友，建議不要來往。」
奇哥鬆了一口氣：「當然。我就說嘛，咱們家怎麼可能會出現這種打火機。」
「是嗎？那，這個打火機又是哪裡來的呢？」她伸出左手，亮出一個打火機，上面赫然寫著XX休閒會所。
奇哥徹底懵逼。
奇哥先把朋友當擋箭牌，隨後發現虛驚一場，接著又把朋友洗白。
當奇哥以為危機已經結束，沒想到才剛開始。
這局牌還沒打，奇哥已經扔掉了王炸。
有些坑，越填越深，那奇哥只能不填。
還剩最後一招：死不承認！
「我不知道。」
「不知道？」老婆這句話帶著殺氣。
「你相信我會去那種地方嗎？我花35塊錢在咖啡店坐1個小時都覺得貴，又怎麼捨得花幾千塊去做那4分鐘的事？」奇哥自黑。
「過分了啊，誇自己也得有個限度，你哪有4分鐘啊？」她補刀。
奇哥點煙。沉默。
「你無權保持沉默。」
這時電話響了，是劉明。
「擴音。」老婆說。
電話接通，劉明在電話裡說：「我有個打火機不見了，上面寫著XX休閒會所的，是不是在你那？」
我：「是是是。在我這裡！」
劉明：「太好了，我還以為丟在我家裡，如果被我老婆發現就慘了。」
我得意的看著老婆，我的眼神在說：看到了吧，這個打火機真的是劉明的！
劉明又說了一句：「咱們下次再去，千萬別再拿店裡的打火機。」
啪，電話掛了。
奇哥知道，他也快掛了。
這個故事告訴我們，
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吸煙有害健康！吸煙真的有害健康！
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