搶救人緣

搶救人緣

惟雯說故事

 

你相信嗎?

我認識一個女孩,她說,她在補習班上課,準備重考大學的一年期間,沒有認識班上任何一位同學。

真的,她一向獨來獨往,上課時間到,就走進教室,下完課,就獨自回家去,一年之中,未曾和其他同學說過話;這就是她的風格—-「不喜歡主動和他人交談」。

現在她大學畢業,工作多年,也一直未婚。

 

曾有一職員,在工作上犯了錯誤,當長官指責他時,他反駁說:

「沒有人告訴我不能這麼做啊!」

長官聽了,很生氣地說:「什麼叫『沒有人告訴你』?你有主動問過其他同事、或來問過我嗎?如果你懂得主動請教別人,你會犯這麼嚴重的錯誤嗎?」

 

是的,當我們到一個新的或陌生的環境,都需要調適自己的心境,並提升「與他人交往的能力」;因為,在工作場合中,最忌「獨行俠」—-獨來獨往、擺冷面孔、不主動認識別人、不主動請教他人!

 

所以,我們必須學習,將「自信與友善寫在臉上」,讓別人可以清楚地看得到。

不過,自信並非是「自吹自擂」,深怕別人不能記得自己的長處;其實,和他人初次見面,愈是表現出「我是憨厚的老實人」,愈能激起別人樂意和我們交往的意願。如果說話「愛吹牛、又誇張」,只是忙著吹噓自己、推銷自己,就會惹人厭啊!

 

假如,我們需要「搶救人緣、改頭換面」,不妨試試:

1.趕快打個電話、寫信、或 e-mail 給一些久未連絡的朋友。

2.拜託朋友一些小事,並反問他,你是否可以幫他做些什麼?

3.約些朋友來喝喝茶、聊聊天、敘敘舊。

4.談話時,「多發問、多傾聽」,可引導對方發言,維持良好氣氛。

5.多談論對方「感興趣的話題」,讓對方暢所欲言。

6.多注意自己的表情,並把最愉悅的神情,留給對方。

7.尊重對方的意見,切勿經常「否定、反駁」對方。

8.多主動請教「對方的專長」,並適度讚美。

 

 

摘自戴晨志著「人際溝通高手」

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