原則與偏見
惟雯說故事
待人處世的過程中，「堅持原則」本來是正常的，問題是，你所堅持的究竟是原則，還是偏見？
如果對任何事都堅持「自己的」想法才是對的，對別人的建議和商量，都不願接受，不願意為任何人改變，不替別人設身處地著想，其實，你所堅持的可能只是個人的偏見，到最後可能會對很多人、事造成傷害。
正確的原則除了為自己所堅持的，也會為其他人所接受，不僅現在的人可以接受，未來的人也可以接受，甚至過去也曾經被人接受過，這才叫做「原則」。
亦即，原則通常能夠符合多數人共同的的想法和意願。
所以，若你仍分不清自己到底是「擇善固執」，還是「把個人偏見當成原則」，其實，只要觀察別人對這件事情的觀感，就能判斷出究竟是偏見還是原則。
如果你的想法和做法，讓每個人都覺得受不了、很痛苦，每個人都覺得那是錯的、有問題的，只有你認為是對的，那很可能就是偏見。
此外，做人有做人的原則，做事也有做事的原則。
做人的原則首先要「保護自己」，同時也要「尊重他人」；自己受益也希望對他人有幫助，秉持彼此互惠互助的立場，這種原則才是對的。
做事的原則，應該要以大多數人的利益為考量，如果所堅持的原則，是出於自私或為了少數人或貪圖一時的方便，這就是偏見，就是執著。
另外，原則也不是一成不變的，它會隨著時間或區域環境的不同而有所改變。唯一不變的是，一定是為眾人著想，能夠為大家所樂於接受的。
太過執著偏見的人，會帶給周遭的人很多煩惱，因為自我意識太強，自我中心太堅固，就會堅持自己的性情或想法，全身如同刺蝟般長滿利刺，動輒傷人而無法圓融待人；所以有人說：「做人處事要內方而外圓」，「內方」就是原則，「外圓」就是不傷人。
雖然在心裡有一定的標準，可是當需要變通的時候，也不要執意不變，食古不化，必須要有一些靈巧機變的觀念想法。適時地轉一個彎、換個角度或是多用同理心，這樣才不會讓人覺得你很難相處，事情才容易成就的。
時時提醒自己「內方外圓」的原則，也是化除心裡過份執著的方法之一；更進一步說，如果我們能夠不以自我為中心的堅持己見，任何事情都能看得開、看得淡、放得下，而且能夠包容所有的人、所有的事，自然而然就不會有偏見，當然就沒有煩惱了。
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