顏值與人品孰重?

顏值與人品孰重?

楊惟雯

 

為何有人光鮮亮麗卻咄咄逼人,讓人窒息?有人其貌不揚,卻讓人舒服、心生好感?你身邊是否也有這樣的人,他們也許貌不驚人,也許才不出眾,卻在無形中有著一股特別的魅力,讓你想要與之接近,放下心防,傾訴心中的秘密?

 

欣賞一個人,從表到裡,可分為五個層次:外貌,能力,脾氣,品格,品性。

而與之對應的素質,同樣可分為五個層次:顏值,才華,性格,善良,人品。

 

細細品味,這五個層次,既是待人處世的識人之法,也是涵養內心的修行之途。

亦即,欣賞一個人,始于顏值,敬于才華,合於性格,久于善良,終於人品——這便是那條完整的路徑。

 

我們依序解剖這五個層次如下:

 

一、始于顏值

 

愛美之心,人皆有之。

自古人們便津津樂道於西施、貂蟬、王昭君、楊玉環的四大美女,潘安、蘭陵王、宋玉、衛玠的四大美男。只是古人眼中的顏值,不以美醜論英雄,而是關注氣色神采。

 

容貌是天生的,我們無從選擇。而說到顏值,容貌卻不是第一位的,第一位的是氣質和氣場。
而氣質和氣場從哪裡來?身上的閱歷,腦中的見識,心中的涵養。

最簡單的培養方法便是讀書,蘇東坡所謂“腹有詩書氣自華”,曾國藩所謂“讀書可變化氣質”。
總之,你的氣質裡,藏著你走過的路,讀過的書和愛過的人。

 

二、敬于才華

 

識人,是要觀其內;做人,要養於內。相由心生,成之於內,自會發之於外。

 

每個人都有自己的長處,都有別人所比不了的地方。重要的是發現自己的長處在哪裡,自己的長處是什麼?然後有意識地去培養和發展。

 

真正的才華與智慧,是一種見識。他們的魅力來自豐富、內斂、溫情、善良,由內而外的散發出一種氣質。這樣的人,可敬、可交、可做。

 

據說賀知章對李白一見傾心,初次見面時就解下身上金龜,抵押換酒與李白豪飲,這種對才華的敬慕與欣賞正是一種尊敬。

 

三、合於性格

 

好的性格沒有固定的定義,簡單的說,就是要讓別人喜歡你,拿出一張紙,把身邊10個朋友每個人身上你喜歡的性格寫下來,然後變成自己所擁有的,這就是好的性格。

 

物以類聚人以群分。同類性格的人容易合得來,投脾氣。

 

性格,一半是天生,一半是養成。而能與絕大多數人合得來,就需要有修養,溫和持重,如同古人所言,“望之儼然,即之也溫”!

 

有的人也許貌不驚人,卻有一種性格魅力,讓人舒服,讓人想要與之親近。

和這樣的人在一起,就像聽一曲舒緩的音樂,品一杯醇厚的熱茶,看一朵花靜靜地開放,平靜中含有淡淡的喜悅。

 

四、久于善良

 

善良就是與人為善,心有善念,便會給別人和自己帶來歡樂,所以古人說:“善為至寶,一生用之不盡;心作良田,百世耗之有餘。”

 

“善人者,人亦善之。”

李叔同早年做音樂教師,有一次上課,一個學生在下面看閒書,另一個學生則隨地吐痰。下課後,李叔同請那兩位同學留下來,用很緩和的聲音對他們說,下次上課不要看閒書或者隨地吐痰。

兩個學生剛要申辯,李叔同向他們鞠了一躬,兩個學生頓時滿臉通紅。

 

只有善良才有長久的影響力,當一個人心中只有善念的時候,一切塵世間的浮華光景早已退卻,只有一個個平等和應該尊重的靈魂。

 

當善良遇見善良,就會開出世界上最美的花朵。

 

五、終於人品

 

總的來說,欣賞一個人就是欣賞他的人品。

古人認為,“立德、立功、立言”是“三不朽”,首先就是“立德”。

同樣,做事先做人,關鍵看人品。

 

人品好的人,自帶光芒,無論走到哪裡,總會熠熠生輝。

人品好的人一定是細心體諒他人,極具同情心的,他的魅力來自豐富,內斂,溫情,慈悲,由內而外地散發出一種高貴。

人品好的人一定是細膩而聰明的,做事講道理,說話有分寸,能把每一句話都說到你心裡去,以柔克剛,化解問題於無聲之處。

有時,他只是一個眼神與舉動,都可以讓人感覺到這個世界的暖意。

 

總之,欣賞一個人,始于顏值,敬于才華,合於性格,久于善良,終於人品。
其實,做人如此,交友亦如此。若能如此,便是不枉此生。

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